Where Do I Start?

Where do I start?

You ridicule me for my flaws without evaluating the cause

As to why I strike everything that stands to devour me once and for all.

A battle within me got me continuously beating myself with this bat.

I’m breaking apart at the seams and only I can truly see that,

Where do I start?

The light at the end of the tunnel gets closer, warmer, and brighter,

I try to take a step back, but the space around my feet only gets tighter.

I am now face to face with this black,

The judgment in the front and the damnation in the back,

I’m placed between two worlds; and told I don’t belong.

And the muthafucka that just ostracized me,

Whispers to me he likes the scent of my cologne.

Where do I start?

I’m that black that is needed to make the purest of whites,

But only credited for the multiplied by hundreds televised on the media websites.

Where do I start?

I lay wide awake arms across my chest, in a trance my mind is wondering,

If the number of times I became vulnerable added to this heart crumbling.

I stare at the mini-blinds casting different lines across my bedroom walls

Then the blinding headlights cause my eyes to close and streams of tears to fall.

Where do I start?

Tossing and turning then waking up in a sweat.

From seeing my life flash in front of me, nothing but years of regret.

The reality of it all is that I keep on going

Because what I’m enduring is part of the high calling.

You see I’m simply human so of course I hurt inside,

But the strength that lies within all of this, is you will never see me cry.