Remnant of A Letter

...if only these words could reach the inner depths of you; sooner,

smothering all actions to halt and succumb to my speech,

Stop!

The jagged ledges wait for your footsteps.

Tiptoe around each crack and stay close to the walls.

The reflection of each ledge foresees the traps to many pitfalls that lie ahead.
Watch carefully and remain alert.

Now Go!

Awareness #1

Fly Away by Marsha Ambrosius

Verse 1
So sad to see you go so soon, I know that you ain’t coming back.
In the beginning everything was cool, to want to end of it all, it’s all bad.
I know I played my part in making it what it is. And I know that you did the same.
I guess I’m up out of here. I’m moving on again, I’m sure that you will understand.
I play by the rules, you play by the game, I could of had stayed, it’s easier to say.
‘Cause I was by your side, when you went through the pain.
I guess it doesn’t matter now that you’re so far away.

Chorus:
And every minute you’re gone, I’m missing you so,
I can’t believe that you’re; far away.
Can’t get you out of my mind, boy ya out of my life, I can’t believe that you’re; far away
And it would be different, if you could hear me baby.
Now that you’re so far away.

Verse 2
Oo, tear stains on my pillow, trying to forget ya, don’t know what I’m gonna do.
Four days and counting, I been laying here staring myself in the mirror all alone in my room.
I can’t feel this way again, gotta think with my head, ‘cause my heart is what got me here.
So hurt from what you’ve done, more than enough reasons, for me to move on.
‘Cause I gave you my word, to put your trust in me, supposed to be the one, to give you what you need.
I was by your side, and we was meant to be, guess it doesn’t matter now ‘cause you’re so; far away.

Chorus

Bridge
If I done known Sunday morning, that you would be gone, I wouldn’t never come home.
I wouldn’t have answered my phone, to hear the voice at the tone, I knew that something was wrong.
The cops the one who had told me that you was alone inside an empty room.
Identified you as my baby, you are my baby, so far away.

Chorus

Ad Lib
Please come back now, I miss you baby.
Back in my life why don’t you baby.
Been away enough to be (bored?)
Without you, I can’t go on.

*Lyrics transcribed by Eddie D. Burks*

Tango: Part III

Except from Tango:

“You know I wasn’t always like dis. I mean, da way I dress; da way I act; da way I talk. It’s something dat I picked up ovah the years. It’s one of da things dat attract othas to me, so I kept it… I’m two different people, ya know? I don’t really like dis part of me, but, I’ve been molded into dis person; it’s hard to show people da otha me, da real me; fucked up, and feels like his world is a piece a shit! Did you know I am da only boy out of foe children, of course you didn’t, da shit is ridiculous, I have three yunga’ sistas. It’s like so much is on my shouldas man...My momz neva finished High School, she got her G.E.D. though, so I guess dat’s good.” He laughs

“So I have to graduate from college. I mean we struggled most of my life. We just now started to live comfortably…Work’n two part-time jobs and going to school full-time, I’m da only help my momz got. My dad ain’t neva been around, I mean, who knows where da hell he is. Last time I knew, he was in and out of jail. We don’t have no kinda relationship. Fuck dat nigga! We made it dis far, ain’t no need foe his ass now.”

I relax in my chair uncrossing my leg. The outpour from Bakarri definitely caught me off guard. There wasn’t anything that I could do, so I listened. I leaned forward in my chair and clasp my hands together and stared out the window. I was a little hesitant to look at him, so I waited for him to signal to me to say something.

“We moved a lot. And it seemed to always happen when she would get into a fight wit one of her boyfriends. She neva told us why we was move’n, but it’s somethin to watch your momz get her ass beat, den beat yo ass. Shit, I didn’t do a damn thang… Hit those muthafuckas!” He yelled sitting up in his chair.

“I was getting beat wit wooden broom sticks, vacuum cleana tubes, mini blind sticks, chairs, shoes, coat hangas, it didn’t matta. I rememba I was standin inna hallway lookin out da kitchen window at my momz boyfriend in da backyard. There wasn’t a lotta yard back there; about five feet long and ten feet wide dat was between da house and da garage. Both, da house and da garage, was white. Da house was one’na those big two story houses witha’ porch as long as da front of da house. Somethin like Forest Gump mommaz house, just a lil’bit smalla. Some bricks, rocks, dirt, and pieces of glass was thrown against da front wall of da garage and somehow one Sunflower grew in there. I’ll neva fa’get it. He kept pace’n back and forth, and you couldn’t figgah out what he was looking foe. Matta fact, I was wonderin why he was back there. Then, he just picked up one’na those bricks and threw it through da kitchen window at us. It barely missed my momz. If she didn’t duck, she woulda been fucked up. Later dat night, my momz called me inna kitchen. Da glass was still scattered all ovah da floor. When I saw her, I knew somethin bad was about to happen, humph. She sat witta’ legs open on toppa da counta’ next to da sink witta blue-jean skirt and a white tank top. You can see how blood was onna’ panties. Her hair was messed up and da ashtray sat on da counta’ to da right.” He paused.

“She said, ‘get yo’ ass on yo mothafuckin knees and face da back doe’. Right when I didn’t expect it, she hit me witta belt buckle and it wrapped around my neck and hit me right in my esophagus…I had gotten in trouble early’a dat week from school, and I guess she decided now was da time to punish me foe it…I had a fucked up childhood.” He finished.

“Yeah, you thought I didn’t know what dis thing right here is, huh?” He points at his throat.

“I ain’t as dumb as you might think I am…”

 “I never thought that. In fact, I think you are extremely intelligent.”

We both laughed.

“But you know what? I ain’t sweat’n dat shit. I’m inna betta place now.”

“That is definitely a mature and positive approach to handling that situation. Not too many young men can move forward in a positive direction like that.”

“Well thank you. I just…you know… I gotta do what I gotta do when I gotta do it.”

I didn’t cut him off this time. It is true, no matter how life treats you, you have to take the initiative to make something out of it, something better.